14 2 / 2013

calvindillinger:

Do you ever feel like you have your hand in a dozen buckets? Like your multitasking and planning and regretting all collide into chaos?

The Future lies to us that we need to worry and control its outcome.

The Past lies to us that our mistakes define us.

The Present?

The Enemy lies to us that…

05 12 / 2012

As my season in Haiti begins to wrap up I find the lyrics of this song constantly pouring from my heart over this nation. Some days the chains seem so strong, but I am believing that our King Jesus can truly break any and every chain. I believe that He is redeemer and will transform Haiti into a nation that serves Him and is blessed by Him. He will defeat the wicked rulers. He will restore his beloved ones. He will fight this battle on their behalf and He is always victorious.

Please join me in praying for Haiti and crying out to Jesus to break every chain. 

25 11 / 2012

At Chili’s in Santo Domingo!!! Bahhh! Is this even real!?! (at Santo Domingo)

At Chili’s in Santo Domingo!!! Bahhh! Is this even real!?! (at Santo Domingo)

14 11 / 2012

So blessed to see this gorgeous view the past few mornings! @ HCM guesthouse  (at Haiti)

So blessed to see this gorgeous view the past few mornings! @ HCM guesthouse (at Haiti)

26 10 / 2012

Since being in Haiti I have found myself on an ever-growing journey of redefining. I came to this nation with my head held high, ready to hit the ground running and to be a “great” missionary. To be honest I had chip of pride on my shoulder and what we call around here, a God complex. I had spent the last 4 years of my life making my way through college on what I felt God was calling a season of preparation. I have come to find that I was indeed in a season of preparation, which has only led to another season of preparation, and which will only lead to another. I’ve come to learn that being “prepared” is non-existent and irrelevant. If I could get “prepared” for this journey of serving Jesus then I wouldn’t necessarily need to lean and rely upon Him in every step. Isn’t this precisely what walking with Jesus is all about? It has nothing to do with what I can do in and of myself. Haiti has caused my whole entire life and outlooks to come to a complete halt. In this nation every sense of independence, security, safety, luxury and comfort that I have back at home has been canceled out. My transportation, agenda, meals, freedom is completely dependent on those around me. I cannot even leave the four concrete walls surrounding my Haitian home without a male accompanying me or have a conversation with my neighbor due to the communication barrier. We have electricity maybe 25% of the time…if that and heat and mosquitoes are a constant battle. It’s normal to hear gun shots close by, sirens constantly singing, news of bad wrecks on our neighboring main street daily. I share this not to complain or express distress at all, only to share the reality. Haiti is known to be a nation the totally strips, refines, and humbles a person. I came thinking I had something to offer, something to bring change, but I have found that I have nothing. Even if I tried to make something happen in and of myself Haiti’s reality would not allow for it. And I cannot explain to you what a beautiful revelation it has been. Life changing, mind blowing, and wonderful has it been to understand that Jesus Christ holds everything. My only job is to rely on, lean upon, and place all my dependence and trust upon Him. He uses us in our weakness to prove His greatness. It took me Jesus sending me to Haiti for me to finally begin to get this. He needed me in a place that I could not have control. Even when I began looking forward to the control I will have once again when I return to the states, Jesus has began to orchestrate things in the U.S. already in such a way that will leave me completely dependent upon His grace and mercy when I return. I think that Father God is desperate for me to get this concept. He is desperate for us all to get it. He wants us to let go of the control, the heavy, unrealistic expectations we carry on our shoulders, the approval of man, and let him lead. As soon as we think we are something or have something to give is the moment that we loose it all. He wants to direct us and powerfully use our lives for His glory and love. This is only possible if we are willing to stop trying to be something and simply let Him do the work in us as we walk with Him. 

For a long time I defined a missionary as someone who serves the nations to make disciples of men. I now believe that this definition is not altogether correct. If I can propose a refined definition I would define it as … Missionary: someone who serves the nations, their friends, families, workplaces, peers, churches, communities in a way that they continually allow God to make a disciple of them first, and in the overflow of allowing God to do so they see God himself make disciples of the nations. I believe that Haiti, its people, its culture, its conditions and realities, and new friends and family have refined me in some of the greatest and most transforming ways. This journey is making me a disciple and I don’t want it to end here. I want to live my life allowing Jesus to continually disciple and change me through this walk of life, every season and through every call. I never want to think that I have “arrived” ever again in my life. Its been affirming to also know that I have been able to serve and love from a place within me that feels more real than ever while here. I know that all the glory belongs to Jesus Christ and I genuinely could not do it on my own. Its beautiful of much freedom is found in finding oneself fully dependent on our great and mighty King. May He receive all the glory and the full reward for His suffering.

23 10 / 2012

Fort Jacques  (at Haiti)

Fort Jacques (at Haiti)

11 10 / 2012

The prayers of Haitians - in “God Is No Stranger” (Taken with Instagram at Port au Prince, Haiti)

The prayers of Haitians - in “God Is No Stranger” (Taken with Instagram at Port au Prince, Haiti)

06 10 / 2012

"Rechargeable Mosquito Beater" … only in Haiti :)  (Taken with Instagram at Port au Prince, Haiti)

"Rechargeable Mosquito Beater" … only in Haiti :) (Taken with Instagram at Port au Prince, Haiti)

05 10 / 2012

Making crafts with little Miss Phoebe Kate! (Taken with Instagram at Port au Prince, Haiti)

Making crafts with little Miss Phoebe Kate! (Taken with Instagram at Port au Prince, Haiti)

02 10 / 2012

It is hard to believe how quickly time has flown by since arriving on Haitian soil. I am now left with only 77 days in Haiti. My time here has been the most beautifully enlightening and stretching season of my life. So many questions answered and yet so many left open-ended. I came with plans in mind and an agenda to reach the world, but I think that all along God intended the world to reach me. These children have taught me more than they can know. Their stories have challenged me, their hope astounded me, and their love has gripped me. I set out to make disciples, but it turns out that Haiti is daily making a disciple out of me.